Super Planner Woes

I am a super planner. I may also have an undiagnosed anxiety disorder.

Before we were engaged, we had been dating for four and a half years, with me needling Mr. K to pop the question every few months or so, usually with him saying to wait for the right time and me ending the conversation in tears claiming that he obviously didn't think I was the one or he would just propose already! Hahahaha, so melodramatic.

In fact, it got to the point where I began tricking myself into thinking that he was going to propose on several occasions.

1) We had gone on a cruise to Mexico for our Annual Anniversary Adventure. One night we were watching some disco parade in the center of the ship and I felt something hit my head. Upon examination of the object, it appeared to be a stick of some sort. We looked up, but didn't see any obvious culprits. A couple days later, he purchased a massage for me, and after the massage, he brought me to the top of the inside of the ship. Hanging all along the ceiling were model planes. He then told me to look closely. I thought to myself, OMG THIS IS IT! He must have hidden the ring on a propeller or something!! I began examining all of the planes closely, thinking to myself that this did not meet any of my requirements for getting engaged. I had previously told him that I wanted to be wearing something amazing OR I wanted there to be an amazing backdrop behind us AND I wanted someone to snap a picture of my face right when it happened. He gave me an odd look and said, "Why are you looking up there? It's right here." I quickly looked toward where he was pointing and it was a bush. He brought me all the way to the top to look at a stupid bush. The same bush from which the stick came that hit me in the head at the parade. I burst into tears.

2) We had gone to Japan for our Annual Anniversary Adventure. There were many moments upon which he could have proposed but it didn't happen. I cried at the airport on the way back to Hawaii. After this, I started thinking that it would never happen and we would have to become domestic partners instead. On good days, I thought it would happen every time we hiked at the beach with our dog.

3) My parents came to visit us on Kauai from Oahu because they had decided to move to the mainland. One night we had a big family dinner with his family and my family. We were getting ready to leave when his father told us all to come back and sit down for a bit. I thought, this is it! I excused myself to go the bathroom to make sure that there was nothing in my teeth and let myself give off an excited tear or two, then prepared myself and came back out. We stayed for about fifteen more minutes making small talk and then went home. I was beyond crying. It seems at this point that I am just a huge cry baby but in reality I am not that type of person. My friends find all of these stories hilarious because they can't imagine me feeling emotions of sadness. 

Anywho, he finally proposed. I wrote a post about it here.

ANYWAYS back to the original point of this post. Because I had expected him to propose for so long already, I had done a ton of research in terms of what I wanted for the wedding. 

So we finally got engaged in January. It is now June. Already, in the span of six months, due to my super planning, we've lost $750. This is because, even though we weren't getting married for a year and a half (June 2013), I had convinced him that we had to have our wedding at Waimea Plantation Cottages and we had to use Contemporary Flavors Catering as our food vendor. There were reasons I had picked these two vendors. We didn't want a beach wedding or a hotel wedding because they are not private at all and I hate the idea of having random people watching us during an intimate moment, which is IRONIC because I ALWAYS watch when people have their wedding at the beach and I am tanning right there. Mr. K is 4th generation plantation Japanese so he wanted some kind of plantationy feel to the venue and Waimea Plantation Cottages is an Aston resort that has been converted from actual plantation homes. It was perfect. In addition, it was on Kauai where the majority of our guests were from. We chose Contemporary Flavors Catering because almost everyone on Kauai uses them for everything and the food is super good. I went ahead and put down my non-refundable deposits for both by March.

In May I realized that by having our wedding on Kauai, we were pretty much forced to invite everyone and their moms. Literally. Our budget, which was $10k, spiraled up to $17k just to feed everyone. This is probably not a big deal for most couples, but for us it was a source or worry and anxiety because we're trying to build a house this year and I need to buy a better vehicle so we can start a family. Anyways I really thought about it and said to myself, why don't we have a smaller ceremony with the people we really want? 

So I completely switched gears, changed islands, cut the guestlist by 60%, and had to request my deposits back, which, of course, I did not receive back in its entierty. Sometimes it sucks being a super planner. :(