It's me (and you)

Sometimes being in a relationship with someone who is completely opposite of you can become very frustrating. For example, I am a person who likes to have everything organized and planned out. I like to research information about issues months, and sometimes even years before I need the actual information (I have been listening to Pregtastic Pregnancy Podcasts for over three years but haven't actually thought about getting pregnant until this year; you never know when you need to know about the bloody show, or having a water birth). My partner, however, is more of a go-with-the-flow type of guy. He hates planning. He would prefer to show up and see what happens. In my opinion, I don't know how anything gets done in his life. Oh wait, yes I do... because of me. I'm the one who seems to push him towards making big decisions. I'm not saying he wouldn't eventually make big decisions on his own, but it has become obvious to me over the last six years together that a lot of the time he needs some outside motivation.

Anyways, if you haven't guessed already, I'm basically the one planning out the wedding. Just me. All by myself. Technically the coordinator is doing a large chunk of work by gathering all of the vendors that we need, but I'm making many of the smaller decisions like invitation design and wording, music choices, decor, cake flavors, types of alcohol, etc. Things that I'd like his input on, but he could care less about. He would rather forget having a wedding and go on a month-long vacation/elopement instead (which, 14 months after engagement, sounds like a pretty good idea). It actually sucks having to make all of the decisions by myself. I don't mind doing the work, I don't find decision making very difficult. I'm not one of those girls who has to have everything exactly the same shade of mauve or have a tiny tiny tiny bird emblazoned upon every piece of decor at the event.

However, his lack of interest is kind of getting me down.

Because he is so unwilling to make a decision about anything, it kind of brainwashes me into thinking that perhaps he really just isn't that interested in getting married (which is true and false). I mean, I know he could do without the wedding, but I can't. I need to have a wedding. I'm pretty much the only grandchild in my family who is doing things the "right" way, and I love the idea of having a beautiful celebration. When he tells me that he could care less if we Kona Brewing or Heineken, all I hear is, "This is your trip, not mine." And that hurts my feelings. I feel that if he isn't as involved in the decision making process, he isn't creating ownership in the event. I just want him to feel as excited as I do about our upcoming nuptials.

Then, three weeks ago, he finally did it. He asked for something wedding related. In the islands, there is a beverage called kava that tastes like mud, but has some small effects on the body such as a numb mouth and some light headedness. For some odd reason, he has taken a liking to this particular beverage, and would like to have it served alongside our beer and wine options. Amazing. One request. One spark of hope in the darkness. Maybe he does want to get married after all!