Engagement pictures!

We finally got them, six days later! I am sooooo excited about these photos, and a huge thanks to Keani Andrade Kauai Photography for her excellent work, instructions, and turn-around time!

My hands look like they're about to do something important.

I am holding myself away from this dirty tree!

Jeeze that dress is short!

Mmmmmmmm your ear smells good.

Could that dress get any shorter!?

I might be blinking. Almost.

Your ear feels funny.

Can you find the waterfall?

Tell me how beautiful I am again...

Believe it or not, this is a crossing for trucks, and we were holding up lots of traffic.

Watch your hands, Mister.

I might be about to fall over in this one.

Check out those muscles.

He's so cute when he cheeses!

This is probably my favorite shot of all.

Videography.

GREAT NEWS! My fiance's cousin's classmate (connections through several degrees are so common here in Hawaii) contacted me via Facebook to ask if he could film our wedding for a steal. We had completely crossed videography off of the list because a filming a five hour wedding typically starts at the $2,500 range and skyrockets from there for the really good companies. In addition, I don't think I would ever pull out our wedding DVD and spend an hour watching it. Ever. (That's something my mom would do, though... she still watches the eight minute DVD of my brother skydiving like once every few months.)

Then I discovered Highlight Videos. A Highlight Video is like a short, music-video version of your wedding. It has all the best parts, set to music, and edited just like a short film. They are awesome. I can't tell you how many hours I've wasted spent crying watching these little videos. They're all so romantic and they're the perfect length to make watching one often more realistic. I wanted one, but usually these were $500 added to a standard videography package. Check out some amazing highlight videos here: http://ariastudios.com/index.php?option=com_zoo&task=tag&tag=aria%20studios&app_id=1&Itemid=47

So that's what I told him. I said, there's absolutely no way we can afford videography, but I really appreciate your offer. Then he asked what our budget was. I had no budget for videography, but I told him what I wanted and what I was willing to spend. I wanted someone to film our five hour wedding, I wanted a highlight video, and I didn't want to spend more than $500. Boom. He said it was a deal.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!

Of course, this does not include an edited DVD of the entire day, which is fine because I don't want to watch a DVD of the entire day. I just want a highlight video. AND my mom said she would pay for half.

Score!

Now I just need to find a semi-romantic, upbeat song that is over four minutes long.

Engagement Shots

Never in a million years did I think that we would take engagement photos. I'm not even sure what the purpose for these are, but after reading Weddingbee, it seems as if most people use the photos for their save the dates, invitations, or to display around their wedding. Most engagement photos I've seen online look incredibly romantic and physically close... but those words would probably not be used to describe our relationship.

We love each other very much, but we're not really physically romantic. My fiance is not the type of guy who wants to hug all the time or would put his arm over my shoulder (partly because we're almost the same height, so it's uncomfortable for him). We rarely ever display PDA. As a teacher in a small community, I've completely shunned PDA because these kids and their families are everywhere! And the last thing I need is for some kid to show up to school and talk about how they saw me kissing! Ew! How awkward. Needless to say, we keep our affection very private.

 Thinking of engagement photos just seemed awkward because for him it would be an enforced display of affection in front of someone else, and for me because I'm out of practice. We never thought we would do this. We also thought it was an unnecessary expense.

Then we went to the Break-Up Barbecue.

My fiance was working at a fire station on the north shore, but the five firefighters there were being split up and sent to different stations, thus the Break-Up Barbecue. We met at one guy's house and at and talked and whiled the night away with them and their significant others. In the process we found out that one of the wives was a photographer. We really hit it off and a few days later she offered to take engagement photos of us... for free!

Well, living in Hawaii means living in a multi-ethnic society, most of whom are Asian, and it is very shameful to accept anything for free without giving something in return. So yesterday we allowed her to take our photos and paid her half the amount of what she normally charges.

It was surprisingly fun. I thought Chad wasn't going to go for it at all, but he was asking me about different shirt and pant combinations, what shoes he should wear, should he cut his hair today? It was refreshing. I'm not going to lie, being posed in a various romantic positions was a little uncomfortable at first, but we loosened up after the first half hour and began to enjoy it a little more. Some of the poses felt awkward and probably looked crazy to a random passerby, but I'm sure they'll look great in the photo. I'm so glad we did this, because I think it will make things smoother when we do our wedding photos. I can't wait to see what the pictures look like!

On Not Registering

I can't speak for all couples, but most people in Hawaii don't register for gifts when they get married. The number one gift people give and receive here is cash (dollar dollar bills ya'll)! People here give cash for every occasion. First birthdays, graduations, weddings, and funerals are the largest social events here, and at every event there is a card box. Depending on how generous your family and friends are, you may end up paying off the party and then some! Gatherings here tend to be huge--I mean, invite everyone AND their moms huge. Hundreds of people huge. Everyone you've ever met huge. Not always, of course, there are always smaller and more private events. However, for those four events, people usually go big. A lot of it is because families here are huge! They are intermixed and mingled. It is not uncommon for relatives to all live in the same neighborhood, and sometimes the same street or house! Either way, the most common gift for most events is cash. I haven't even been asked by anyone if we're registering because not registering is the norm here, and I love it!

I personally don't need bakeware or a stand mixer or a vase or anything really. The only thing I really need is money. I need to recoup my wedding expenses. I need to pay off monies towards our home construction. I'd like to go on vacation. While I realize there are registries that are specific towards those things, not registering is so much easier. I hate the idea of telling people what the appropriate amount of money is to give as a gift. I would rather just be surprised.

It's me (and you)

Sometimes being in a relationship with someone who is completely opposite of you can become very frustrating. For example, I am a person who likes to have everything organized and planned out. I like to research information about issues months, and sometimes even years before I need the actual information (I have been listening to Pregtastic Pregnancy Podcasts for over three years but haven't actually thought about getting pregnant until this year; you never know when you need to know about the bloody show, or having a water birth). My partner, however, is more of a go-with-the-flow type of guy. He hates planning. He would prefer to show up and see what happens. In my opinion, I don't know how anything gets done in his life. Oh wait, yes I do... because of me. I'm the one who seems to push him towards making big decisions. I'm not saying he wouldn't eventually make big decisions on his own, but it has become obvious to me over the last six years together that a lot of the time he needs some outside motivation.

Anyways, if you haven't guessed already, I'm basically the one planning out the wedding. Just me. All by myself. Technically the coordinator is doing a large chunk of work by gathering all of the vendors that we need, but I'm making many of the smaller decisions like invitation design and wording, music choices, decor, cake flavors, types of alcohol, etc. Things that I'd like his input on, but he could care less about. He would rather forget having a wedding and go on a month-long vacation/elopement instead (which, 14 months after engagement, sounds like a pretty good idea). It actually sucks having to make all of the decisions by myself. I don't mind doing the work, I don't find decision making very difficult. I'm not one of those girls who has to have everything exactly the same shade of mauve or have a tiny tiny tiny bird emblazoned upon every piece of decor at the event.

However, his lack of interest is kind of getting me down.

Because he is so unwilling to make a decision about anything, it kind of brainwashes me into thinking that perhaps he really just isn't that interested in getting married (which is true and false). I mean, I know he could do without the wedding, but I can't. I need to have a wedding. I'm pretty much the only grandchild in my family who is doing things the "right" way, and I love the idea of having a beautiful celebration. When he tells me that he could care less if we Kona Brewing or Heineken, all I hear is, "This is your trip, not mine." And that hurts my feelings. I feel that if he isn't as involved in the decision making process, he isn't creating ownership in the event. I just want him to feel as excited as I do about our upcoming nuptials.

Then, three weeks ago, he finally did it. He asked for something wedding related. In the islands, there is a beverage called kava that tastes like mud, but has some small effects on the body such as a numb mouth and some light headedness. For some odd reason, he has taken a liking to this particular beverage, and would like to have it served alongside our beer and wine options. Amazing. One request. One spark of hope in the darkness. Maybe he does want to get married after all!

Reception Dress

My dress is so heavy (the only downside to wearing kimono) that I think for sure I'll want to change into something a little more slinky during the dance portion of the reception. I've been looking for dresses here and there and these are the candidates:


Charlotte Russe, but without the peplum


Urban Outfitters, but in White


Bebe Isis, but is currently out of stock EVERYWHERE!

I love to dance so having a dress that moves well would be extremely helpful. Decisions, decisions!

Buying Second Hand

I've always known that if we ever got married, it would have to be on the cheap. I couldn't afford to have a champagne taste on a Budweiser budget. I also knew that if I ever got married, I would be wearing an Anne Namba gown.

I love the fact that the gowns are created from vintage kimono, so the dress has history. I also love that it acts as a nod to my formative years growing up overseas.

Unfortunately a gown like that can cost upwards to $3,000.

Enter Craigslist!

Some people might think that wearing a secondhand gown is a definite no-go for the most important day of my life, but I don't think that my wedding day is the most important day of my life. I think that it is one special day of a multitude of many important days. Also, I have other things to blow my savings on, like a foundation for our new house, or that amazing three-piece sectional I saw at Costco.

Needless to say, my gown is important to me, but not $3,000 important. Luckily I found a Namba on Craigslist. This is next to impossible! I found one on Oahu for $500. I flew up and checked out the gown. 

I'm not going to lie, it was a piece of work. It was too wide, a little too short, had a neckline I wasn't in love with, and was kept in a damp place so had mold growing on it. But a dream is a dream so I tried to make it work. 

The first step was to take it to get alterations, to bring it in a LOT. Also, I had the neckline altered from straight across to a sweetheart. Next, I took it to the cleaners, who spot cleaned every single minuscule spot of mildew on the dress. The dress came back 100000% better, but there is some damage that no amount of cleaning can ever erase. Fortunately, that damage is not very visible to anyone but me. Now, I'm dealing with the length of the gown. I have a seamstress making an undergown to attach to the dress to make sure it goes down to the floor in the front.

Here is a picture of the back as it currently looks (I made the bow myself, obi-ish style!):

It's definitely a work in progress. I want someone to make the back part at the top to come down in a small V to loosen up the top so I have a little less skin folding over the dress. Am I in love with it? Mostly... Some days I wish I had just bought a brand new dress because I've sunk almost $1,400 into this gown total after cleanings and alterations, but at the same time I know it's a one of a kind that you can't just buy from a bridal boutique and I got it for about half off what it would normally cost.

We'll see.